Yet not as I will...
Written in 2010, revised in 2017
Yet not as I will... is a piece about surrender and the process of embracing powerlessness. I believe one of the most beautiful, yet most painful things a person can do is let go of his/her own control. For this piece, I imagined myself walking by the room of someone on his knees as he wrestles to pray “Yet not as I will, but Your will be done”
The entire piece is based around a single melody, which is first heard as a tuba solo at the beginning. This melody can be heard throughout the entire piece in some form. I consider there to be three main sections, which can be heard as prayers or cries of surrender: the first appearance of the melody at the beginning, the brass chorale at m. 51, and the full ensemble chorale at m. 81.